No one knows what happens to anyone

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After I have done watching the movie and crying my eyes out, I have absolutely no word to write about it. It would be unspeakably distasteful to describe it as “magical”, but I don’t know how else I can make you understand what a spectacular experience watching the movie was to me. And the book was no less beautiful, but this movie exceeded all my expectations. I never expected to love Dean, Carlo Marx, Marylou, Camille and even Sal this much. They were so marvelously depicted in the movie that they stepped out of the book and lived their life and I saw them so much more clearly than I did with the book.

This movie had some seriously amazing cinematography going on, struck me dead right at the beginning and it only gets better as the movie goes. And I wish I didn’t already have a burning passion for the road, moving just for the sake of it, pushing the limits of “living in the present” to its painful edge. I wish I didn’t ache at the sight of America laid out on the screen, passing by outside car windows, opening up under the wheels. But my wishes have a tendency to not come true, so I spent two hours of my life living vicariously through Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty. And they did not let me down.

And if until this day you still think that On the Road is only about the dream of moving and of a life made free, you are not wrong, but have missed out on the most important part of it. On the Road is about desperate love, the one you cannot live without, the one that motivates you to live on and put up with this shitty life. That one love, that no matter how fucked up it is, no matter how much it hurts you, you just keep coming back to it. Dean desperately loved the road. He could not stop moving no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to settle down, to have a life with Camille and the babies, he tried to find a job and worked, but he failed miserably. The rest of them, Marylou, Camille, Carlo, and Sal, they are desperately in love with Dean. But to them, Dean wasn’t just Dean, Dean was the living dream, Dean was the muse, the ecstasy, the heart broken, and no matter how hard they tried, they just keep coming back to him. Of course Dean was a bastard, and of course they all knew he was a damning bastard, but that’s the way it works. Because they were desperate.

This movie was so worth my wait and excitement. Garrett Hedlund and Sam Riley were outstanding, especially Hedlund’s Dean Moriarty. He owned the character and I was so baffled and delighted by his acting at the same time. And right now, after I’ve finished watching the movie, it was just like how the book ended, I think of Dean Moriarty. In the middle of the night, feeling hard to breathe and anxious as fuck, I think of Dean Moriarty.

I think of Dean Moriarty.

(You can find my review of the book here, in Vietnamese.)

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One thought on “No one knows what happens to anyone

  1. Pingback: Movies of 2012: My top favorites | as we kiss goodbye

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