Not a love story, but a story about love

for my secret lover…

(500) Days of Summer

I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tom Hansen)

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Movies of 2012: My top favorites

So as the year is coming to an end and everyone is making lists everywhere, I’m gonna do it too. And as the title says it all, I’m not gonna explain further — this entry is a list of my top favorite movies of 2012, which would be divided into 3 parts: top favorite movies that came out in 2012; top favorite movies that came out years ago; and then my guilty pleasures of the year.

First thing first, I’m gonna admit defeated in completing the 365 movies a year challenge. I couldn’t make it, and as the year progresses, I have been so much behind that I lost counts of the movie I should have watched. But well, I tried, yeah?

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The words are not coming from you, but through you

Ruby Spark

If you have ever, even once, in your life, aspired to be a writer, you have to watch this movie. And I don’t know why I picked this movie out of many other movies to watch tonight, even though I haven’t heard a word about it before, but it was a great decision. This movie is about a “genius” young writer, who is struggling with his social life as well as a writer-block that is keeping him from producing his next best-seller. And after an appointment with his psychiatrist, he started writing a book about a girl he dreamed of one night, who later appeared out of thin air and became his girlfriend. And that alone, my friend, is the perfect premise I can ask for in a movie.

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No one knows what happens to anyone

Image

After I have done watching the movie and crying my eyes out, I have absolutely no word to write about it. It would be unspeakably distasteful to describe it as “magical”, but I don’t know how else I can make you understand what a spectacular experience watching the movie was to me. Continue reading

You better be goddam happy

Kirsten Dunst (as Justine) in Melancholia

Let’s get something crystal clear: I hate the shit out of this movie. I hate it with every fiber of my body. And I know it’s not fair at all. And it’s not like I just finished watching it yesterday, or last week. I watched it 4 months ago, and there’s not any chance that I’d ever watch it again. But why now, that I decide to write about it? Frankly, I can say it never left my mind.

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You made my life a happy one and there’s no tragedy in that

When you think about death too much, chances are after a while you believe that you’re dying. It’s not a bad thing at all, really, when at the end of the day you can shrug it off and know that you’re actually not dying. I know that because I have played in my head all kinds of crazy scenarios where I’d die, and always, dying is the easy part. It’s just giving up. The part where you realize what you are giving up, that’s the part that keeps me until today. It’s not just family and friends and works and achievement, though that is such a large and eye-blinding part. No, it’s about leaving everything behind even, or especially, things you haven’t known of. It’s the fear of everything and everyone moves on without yourself being a part of it. Really, it’s the things that we haven’t the chance to have that we regret the most.

With that in mind I watch the movie with an expectation. I waited for James to break down. Because if a movie showed death of a young person without depicting any kind of regret and bitterness, it’d be a boldface lie. But James breaking down had been handled better than I thought. Along the way, somehow I forgot my expectation. At some point I even thought, hell, I even hoped, Yeah they could end the movie like that, forget about the illness and death and regret, focus on the last trip, the first time after so many years and also the last time they’d get together, free and happy like four little boys on their adventure. It’s actually how people deal with things sometimes, ignore what’s to come and enjoy the moment. That’s what Miles wanted, probably what they all wanted. But it’s tougher than that. Because when we can run away from our problems and deal with them later, James wouldn’t have later. He’d only have: today, this week, this month. And the waiting part is always painful. Continue reading